Hold me, please!

The past several days have been somewhat emotionally and physically draining, filled with sadness, sickness, and some disappointment. The greatest sadness came last week when my MeeMaw passed away. I'm so thankful that I visited earlier in the week so that I could see her and tell her that I loved her one last time...I only wish I had had more time, without the kids, to sit and visit. And I'm sad for my mother, who lost her mother...I don't know what I'd do without mine; and for my 89 year old PawPaw, who after 65 years of marriage, is without his wife and thinks that he can take care of himself.

And then I missed my girls' weekend with SLAM, which was ok, but disappointing. This get-together weekend was actually taking place at Laney's in McComb which is where my MeeMaw lived, so my sweet friends came and visited me at the funeral home during visitation...and we had quite a few laughs despite the situation. They sent me text messages and picture mail throughout the weekend to let me know that I was missed, and loved. Looking forward to January!

And speaking of SLAM, this past Thursday would have been Jason's (Stephanie's husband) 35th birthday, so it was an emotional week for Stephanie. My heart still hurts for her so bad. I find myself saying all the time, "I just can't imagine what Stephanie is going through and how well she's handling everything...and I pray I never find myself there". But the amazing thing is is that I've heard Stephanie say before that she would never trade her growth in the Lord over these past 2 years...that's a big statement. In a strange way I'm envious of her faith.

And then I came home to sick babies. Parker's tummy was a mess and he wouldn't eat; you could tell he just didn't feel well. And then Avery must have had a viral-bug; she ran fever, 102 to 103, for 2 days with it hardly ever dropping below a low grade temp. I had to work Monday, but as soon as I got home it started..."Mommy, please hold me".

So I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party; the truth is that these are the realities of life, and they are going to face us head on. Am I ready for them? Not all the time, but I'd say I'm more prepared than I was a few years ago. There was a time when the "tough stuff" only happened to other people, not your family or your closest friends. But the past few years I've watched some of my dear friends walk through very deep and dark valleys.

Where's the lesson in all of this...I'm almost there. Isn't it funny how children can teach us the most profound truths? Things that we usually already know but need to be reminded of? To be honest, Avery was about to drive me crazy with her wanting me to hold her all day while she was sick. I would have if I could have, but there was just too much to be done. Until I had a moment where she was crying and I finally sat down on the couch and held her, despite the laundry that needed to be folded, the dinner that needed cooking, the house that needed cleaning, the phone that needed answering. I sat there and thought...these moments aren't going to last forever. There will come a day all too soon when she will be too big to sit in my lap, or she will not want to hold my hand in public, or that sitting in my lap will not make all her worries go away.

Praise God that when I have moments when I just want to be held He doesn't tell me to hold on, I'll get to you when I can. I have a loving Heavenly Father who longs for me to crawl up in His lap and be comforted. And while embracing His comfort and peace won't necessarily make my realities go away, it gives me rest and assurance and joy and hope despite my circumstances. Holding Avery in my lap didn't make her fever go away, but it made her feel loved and taken care of... oh how as I mother I want to be more like Jesus!

Praise God for heaven.

Praise God that my MeeMaw is in heaven and I will see her again one day.

Praise God that he is the great comforter who wipes away our tears.

Praise God that he supplies and meets all of our needs.

Praise God that Jason Weathers is in heaven with my MeeMaw.

Praise God for His sovereignty that sustains.

Praise God that he has blessed me with some amazing friendships.

Praise God that my children are healthy.

Praise God for Shane and our marriage, and for entrusting these precious children to us.

Praise God for He is good.

(Natalie Grant got it right when she wrote and composed her song "Held", beautiful song for those of you who have never heard it)